End of August

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End of August” 18″x24″ acrylic on paper, 2016

At night, I dream of zombies and being locked in old hotels floating on rivers; of giant tidal waves from Lake Michigan splashing into my 5th floor balcony window, while I am unphased, drinking coffee; of a constant knocking noise that turns out to be a dog throwing a bone at the wall; an airport hostage takeover, but the airport is an old mansion, with knives hidden inside bannister finials and secret keys behind picture frames, while Jason Bateman and I try to save the day; of writing a film script with Jason Segal, the two of us like oil and water, bickering and fighting about our creative differences, until of course, we fall in love; I dream of a painting that I can’t wait to try out (above).

If you think my sleeping dreams are crazy, wait until you hear about my daydreams. They are just as exhausting.

I daydream of being a full-time writer, working on a mystery novel; freelancing for local magazines and blogs; marketing for artist advocacy groups full-time; serving on committees and boards that are important to me and my community; having an active social life; keeping a clean house and preparing healthy meals; taking weekend retreats to focus on my art, practicing mindfulness to quiet the crazy in my brain; of being a present mother and wife; and of not requiring all the sleep.

I dream of HAVING IT ALL and DOING IT ALL.

And guess what? At the end of August, I took a look around, and my day dreams didn’t seem so crazy. I have a lot on my plate, but my summer of personal exploration allowed me the time to breathe, to figure things out, and to be happy! I haven’t felt this good in years.

The universe has been sending me the strangest symbols. From job interviews the day I joke about working again, and writing opportunities the day I joke about not working ever again, to an overheard conversation with the perfect blip of advice. This article about being a mother and artist showed up in my news feed yesterday, and it couldn’t have been timelier.

Fall may bring some interesting changes, but I’ve decided to embrace them. To be ready for them, and to have the right mindset for whatever may come. I’m going to make my dreams a reality. Except the zombie ones. Those are scary.

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