Bad Breakup

I imagine if you are going through a break-up, the Timehop App is not your friend. Particularly if that break-up had years of good before it, lots of memories tucked away in every social media outlet.

I felt that way today, when I did my morning phone routine. Instagram, Facebook, Weather, Missed Texts, and Timehop.

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And that was about when the break up started, my novel and me. We used to spend every day together. I talked about it with friends. I was excited to wake up so I could see it again, and loved our dates at coffee shops. I started working 20 hours a week at a cafe and thought, no problem, I can still make time for my novel while I work. Lots of people do that.

But slowly over the year, I stopped making my novel a priority. I neglected it, and went off with friends to talk about it behind its back. I started working on other projects. I let work consume my free thoughts. My novel was always in the back of my head, a guilty pang. People asked, ‘how’s your novel?,’ and I would just shrug my shoulders and look off in the distance, remembering the good times.

Poor novel.

Thankfully for me, my novel isn’t a human being. It’s okay with being pushed aside until I can come back to it. But it’s almost been a year, and much of that excitement is gone. I’m afraid if I were to attempt to reconnect, I’d need to start all over.

That means courting. Going on a few coffee dates. Getting to know it again, find out what its hopes and dreams are, how we can benefit from each other. Promising to put it on a pedestal, and not let other things get between us…

Like all good relationships, it’s tough. I try to find a balance between family, work, creative goals, social life, housework, etc. I’m ashamed at how weak I was in this particular relationship, and hope my novel will have me back. I’m ready to move forward again.

 

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